The Official Diagnosis

We went in today for our second assessment session. There was a Psychologist, Paediatrician, and another two professionals whose qualifications I didn't happen to remember. We were split up, hubby took the baby and sat with the peadie and someone else behind a screen. My boy and I went into a room with the psych and the other person. There were a variety of toys and items about, and all that was required was to see how he would react/investigate/explore/respond to these things and to some prompts that the staff gave him. After this, we went into another room altogether, where we spoke with the paedie about a whole lot of other things, including babyhood, concerns, responses to different situations, etc. Then all the staff excused themselves, and went to another room to collate their findings. They said they'd be gone about 15 minutes. They were back much sooner than that. Their findings were unanimous, and beyond doubt.

My boy has Autism.

It's funny....I have already been through the grieving and tears and emotional mess of finding out that my son is not developing as normal toddlers should. I've already been through the cycle of denial, anger, depression, sadness, and finally accepted that things are the way they are. It is ok. He is ok, and he will be ok. And so will we. But to have that final label ....a name applied in all its certainty...'this is what my boy has'.... It's another step in that grieving again.

So I am sad today. I am sad, but ok. I am sad, but relieved. I can close this chapter here, and start another one straight away. The process of finding out what was going on is over. Took months. Almost a year. But it's over. Now begins the process of working to help him in the areas that need it. This will be the longest journey. One that doesn't end I think. At least it seems that way for now.

So what has changed? Well, not much. As I've mentioned in previous posts, regardless of the outcome of this assessment, his needs remain the same. But now I know that this stuff is for life. He is not likely to just 'grow out of it'. How does that bode for his future? I have no clue. I can't bear to think about it right now. The one good thing that has come of this, if anything at all, is that now we can access the funding available for this. I guess the other good thing is that we have got onto this while he is still very young....2 1/2. The brain at this age is very 'plastic' ...thats the term the pro's have all been using. I'm pretty sure that all it means is that this is an age where lots and lots and lots of learning takes place, where patterns are set down for life...so it is a good age to apply therapy for all the things he needs help with. He should absorb it all alot more readily than if he were older.

Apart from all that, life continues. My little man is still my little mr man. My family is safe and healthy, and for that I am incredibly grateful. But maybe later I will cry.



xx

More Easter Cupcakes

I liked the dual flavour technique, it was fun. So I tried it again with chocolate this time. Dude...yum. Seriously. So, chocolate cupcake with orange & chocolate buttercream. Easter egg chocolates are handmade too, but instead of putting the two halves together, I put one white and one chocolate on as the toppers.

Happy happy days

My little man has just blown me away this week. You might recall the last post about him starting to feed himself? ....well, I'm very pleased to report he's still doing it!! And better yet...he's even starting to scoop up the food on the spoon himself!

I'm going to insert a million exclamation marks now, just to emphasise how totally, completely, speechlessly, do-a-dance-on-the-spot, over the moon I am.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well ok, not a million, but you get the point. And seriously, that doesn't even begin to describe it!

I'm so happy, I honestly can't find the words. This looks like it really is a permanent step. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me, that he is feeding himself. Just last week, I would have been thinking about how I was going to manage each evening, trying to spoonfeed him, and the baby (she has started solids), and sort out the big girls, and eat dinner myself, and ugh! It's all a big pain. But no more! Just in time - just in time because the baby's routine is starting to move in sync with the rest of the family - just in time, he starts moving into this new phase of independance. That he should have been doing this 12 months ago doesn't matter anymore. He's doing it now and I couldn't be happier! This has cleared away a little bit more of that huge dark cloud that hides my visions for his future. I can dream for him again, a little bit more anyway. There is still much that is difficult to see, but this much...this little bit here has opened up. He's feeding himself! Woohoo!

Another little thing he blessed us with today....for months now, I have been using some makaton signs with him. (Makaton, for those who don't know, is a form of sign language that can help non-verbal children communicate). This morning, he came into the master bedroom where his Papa was still in bed. He climbed up onto the bed and started bouncing and jumping and playing on there. It was cute, so I played with him a little bit. Tickles and falling on the bed and such. Then I got up and said very casually, "come on mr man, lets go have breakfast". Well. He sat up on the side of the bed, and made the sign for 'finished'.

"OMG!!" I said to hubby; "did you see that?!"
"Mm-hm". He nods.

I said to my son; "yes honey, we are finished playing here, lets go eat breakfast". He hops off the bed and toddles into the kitchen with me! He did NOT resume playing at all after signing for 'finished'.

I'm sorry, I'm rapt. And amazed. And happy! I could scream! Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

The thing is: I don't know if he will do that signing again, or if he did it just that once for some reason. But it doesn't matter too much. I know now, that months of signing to him is paying off. He is understanding the signs. Understanding me! All of this makes the bridge of communication between us easier. And anything that does that is good.

So yeah, while some parts of this week have been trying, for the most part, it has been a very good week for developments with my little man. Happy happy days! :)



xx

Easter Cupcakes

Fluffy vanilla cupcake with a swirling duo of orange & plain buttercream. Cross is white chocolate.

I found this fantastic chocolate mold for crosses in Suzie Q this week. I must admit, I was pretty rapt to find it. Usually, you find eggs and bunnies and chickens and ducks for easter stuff. I chose to top these cupcakes with a cross instead these other things because it reflects the truth of why the Easter celebration even exists. Bunnies and such are nice...they're fun...but this here - the cross and what it means - this is the heart of it. Might do some easter eggy ones later this week though...just for fun :).


xx

Rustic Plum Teacake

I keep buying plums to put in the lunchboxes, but only one of my daughters eats them. The other one doesn't, and the hubby didn't want any! So I had a bunch of plums getting very ripe in my fridge. Very "old-time classic" this cake...I like things like that though. Served warm with custard....mmmmm :). Just as lovely as normal with a cuppa too.



xx

Highs and Lows

O my goodness, what a day it has been. Talk about a roller coaster! I woke up today and did the normal things I have to do in the morning to organise all children for breakfast, school, nappies, etc. When I got home from dropping the big girls off to school, I just felt really good for some reason. Great in fact. This is rare for me. I had a terrible nights' sleep. (I woke up at 4:30am to a spider crawling on my bare arm, and the racket I made trying to brush it off woke the baby, and it was all downhill from there). So I was pretty sleepy, but still, for some obscure reason, I was really looking forward to today. No idea why.


Well, today my beautiful boy decided he would begin feeding himself with a spoon! Amazing! Here's the catch though: I have to put the food on the spoon first. Once I do that, I can sit it back down in the bowl, and he takes it from there. It was very cute. He would pick up the spoon with both hands, and face it towards himself. Then he would investigate the contents for a few seconds, and then go ahead and feed himself! I am rapt! I was almost beside myself with excitement over this, but I still managed to get a pic or two :).



Obviously, that was the high of the roller coaster. The low was that for much of the day, he screamed. It was a new sort of scream for him. He would start low, like a croak, and gradually - or not so gradually sometimes - work his way up in pitch to a scream. Just to be clear, this was/is not a sensory thing with him. He did this when he was frustrated, wanted attention, or when things were not going his way today. Admittedly, I was busy trying to get other things done (like tidy my desk which is piled up almost 1 foot high, literally, with paperwork :S ). I also had a cranky baby who refused to sleep properly today. And her grizzliness only exacerbates the boy's irritation. So I didn't really have time to sit down and play with him much today. But as you can imagine, it was all very annoying and frustrating for me as well.

And no, I still haven't been able to finish tidying my desk. But at least I managed to sort it into 3 categorical piles, haha!

But anyway....my boy just might be on the way to feeding himself finally! Dare I dream of the day when I no longer have to spoon feed him....? Sometimes I'm too scared to hope too much, because often, he does something new once, or maybe twice, and then just stops doing it. I really REALLY hope this is not one of those things.





xx

The Anti-climax

Well...here I was thinking that I had this huge assessment thing ahead of me today with all sorts of questions, tests, etc going on. Turns out I was all psyched up for nothing LOL.


We came out of the assessment room less than 1 hour after we walked in. And all they did was the same sort of stuff we've already been doing with speech pathology and early intervention! The only difference was, that the assessor was taking notes and another observer was also taking notes.

I also found out that the second part of this assessment is next week...same time, same place, but different areas being investigated. Next week is with the Paediatrician and someone else (can't remember who). Today was with the Occupational Therapist and a Speechie as the observer.

So I guess the bottom line is, I don't have any answers today after all. Bit of an anti-climax really. But I guess 7 more days on top of the long months we've already waited isn't going to make a huge difference.

Sorry if there are any typing errors here. I'm very tired. Too tired to check spelling. Off to bed. Night!


xx

"D-Day"

Assessment tomorrow. The wait is nearly over at last. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Aprehensive. Hopeful. Resigned. Calm. Sensitive. Emotional. Blaze'. Wary....

...pretty mixed up at the moment.

We'll be 'right.


Blegh!

xx

Shy

My boy is shy. Yes, he has ASD, but he is also quite shy.

Most of the time, the only company I have at home during the day is my little two. Mr Man is only 2.5, and my baby, 5 months. As you can imagine, I have little to no adult conversation until the hubby gets home (hehe...he gets an earful then, the poor guy :P ). So I converse with the kids sometimes. They don't answer. The little one usually smiles - mummy is the whole world to her right now, and she hangs on just about every word I say. But my boy...well, he usually ignores me, or passes a fleeting glance my way.

That is most of the time.

Sometimes, as he did today, he looks up at me 'automatically' - the way you'd expect a normal kid to do when you speak to them. He makes good eye contact and holds it there for a few seconds. And I must note here, that this has been improving amazingly over the last several weeks. A result of speech pathology and early intervention no doubt. Anyway, on rare occasions, he holds this eye contact for a fair bit longer than just a few seconds. He looks like he is really checking me out. Investigating my face....trying to read me. I love this. The funny and cute thing is though, when he realises just how deeply he is engaging with me, he becomes extremely shy. He smiles shyly, and looks down or away as though he is embarrassed! It always makes me wonder why. I want to tell him:

Why are you so ashamed my love? Why do you hide yourself from me? Don't you know I love you..? I adore you! Everything about you is sweet to me, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about! I long to hear words spoken from your heart. I want to know about the things you love, the things you like, the way you see the world. So don't hide away my darling child....you are beautiful in every way. And I love you.





And then, I wonder if this is how God feels about me.



xx

Cakerama!!

Experimenting with different flavours at home. Except for the last ones.....they were for my brother.

Coconut rough - Chocolate coconut cupcake with coconut buttercream, choc-dipped the tops and then topped again with lightly toasted coconut.

Coconut roughs' blonde cousins. Same as above, sans the choc-dip on the buttercream.

Sweet orange - Orange cupcake with a donut glaze. Hubby loved these.

Classic style - Chocolate cupcake with vanilla buttercream.

My First Kiss

Erik kissed me today. For the first time. Seriously! It was a real, honest-to-goodness kiss! I know I mentioned before that his usual kisses are something like a tiny lick...? - and that's really cute! - but this afternoon, he kissed me for real.

I'm in love. Completely gone :)

I have to thank the characters of The Night Garden for this. Upsy Daisy in particular. Truthfully...? - I can't stand the show myself. Reminds me of the Booh-Bahs and the Tellytubbies. I keep thinking the creators of such shows must smoke something funky before they produce them. But, like many other toddlers, Erik loves it. I think he has a toddler crush on Upsy Daisy. And Igglepiggle is his home-boy. The Pontypines never fail to crack him up too, and MakkaPakka....

....but I digress.

As I was saying, I must thank Upsy Daisy for Erik's kiss. One of her 'things' is to blow kisses. Erik has been imitating this for a while now. I often kiss him and ask him to kiss mum too. He usually turns his head, or maybe leans his face against me, or gives me one of those little licks. But this time as we were both mimicking Upsy Daisy, I asked him again for a kiss. He puckered up his lips, and with smiling eyes, he slowly leans in, and plants one right bang in the middle of my cheek.

I totally melted.

Upsy Daisy

More About Erik

I have been anxious lately. To the point of feeling nauseous. When I sit down to analyse why, I realise that it is - yet again - all to do with Erik's upcoming assessment. It has been almost a year since we were alerted to the possibility that Erik was autistic. As you can imagine, it has been a roller coaster ride. Cliche', I know, but never more true in my life.

I thought after much time, that I had finally got my head around the whole idea that Erik was not 'ok'....that there were problems here. But when I really face it, I can still hardly believe that this is happening. I can just hardly believe it. I never expected to be a mum of a special needs child. Ever. In my whole life. What makes this even weirder for me is that the other two sisters I have who also have children, have at least one child with special needs too. Between the three of us, none of the 'special needs' are related in any way whatsoever. Heavy, yeah? More about that in another post I think.

So when I took Erik in to see the nurse for his routine 18 month check up...2.5 months too late....she noticed a few things:

Erik did not respond to his name.
Erik did not point at things.
Erik did not make very good eye contact...in fact, it was very poor.
Erik had no words...none whatsoever.
Erik also had no 'noises' for words.
Erik did not play creatively.
He did not use a crayon.
He did not climb on things.
His problem solving skills were poor.

There is more, but I can't remember now.

After almost one year, there has been very little improvement or development on these things. He still has no words. He does have some noises for some words. About 3. That's it. He still does not point, use a crayon, or play creatively. He sometimes responds to his name and his eye contact is improving. So little change after 1 year.

Assessment is next Wednesday. Will let you know.

Better feed the baby now.


xx

Chocolatte' or Mocha?

Chocolate cupcake with dark chocolate truffle ganache and a swirl of coffee buttercream. Yeah, I had leftover frostings from the anniversary cake ;)

I tend to think that mocha is when you actually blend the chocolate and coffee flavours together, so I wouldn't exactly call these ones 'mocha' flavoured. Chocolatte' is better in my opinion. But I suppose you could call it either. They're pretty decadent.

Gagged

I feel like I have been gagged. The photos I have been using lately to help communicate with Erik are lost. I have no idea where they are. I know I came home from school with them about 3 days ago and put brought them inside. I have not seen them since.

As I said in a previous post, Erik understands many things associated with routines. In fact, he responds fairly well to the verbal cues for these, so long as I am in close proximity when I speak to him. The photos just made the whole thing alot easier, and his responses were of much better 'quality' when he could associate a picture with the verbal cue. Losing the pics has taken away that assistance. I feel so frustated.

Imagine how he must feel all the time :(.

Caroline & Peter's Anniversary Cake

My cousin asked me to make a cake for her 15 yr wedding anniversary. All she asked for was something heart shaped and small. This is what I made.

I must credit Bakerella for the idea http://www.bakerella.com/a-valentines-day-gift-box-of%E2%80%A6/ ...this was my attempt at her brilliant Valentines' Day cake. I don't think my workmanship comes anywhere near close to hers, but for a first go by an amateur, I'm not overly ashamed :).

Chocolate cake with dark chocolate truffle ganache and coffee buttercream. The 'chocolates' are chocolate cake balls lightly flavoured with coffee as well. Everything is handmade and edible, except for the 'chocolate' wrappers.

My Little Shadow

I am busy doing cake stuff today...normally I do this when kids are in bed, but there were a few things I was able to do while they were around. So I'm sitting at the table dipping cake balls into chocolate, when who should come along and keep me company....? My little man of course :)

Erik definately prefers company to being alone. He often follows me around through the day...drives me crazy sometimes, because I can't get much done!



So up he climbs onto the chair next to me, and sits quietly watching me work. After a few minutes, a little hand starts creeping across the table to the tray of chocolate dipped cake balls..... I suppose the temptation really would be a bit too much for any little toddler, hehe. But a quiet and firm "no Erik, don't touch", and moving the tray away a bit further did the trick. Yeah, he whimpered a bit, but it was sort of half-hearted. He really is a good kid. I caved and went and gave him a chocolate frog for being so good :P.



He was so good for the rest of the time. When I finished coating all the cake balls, he was allowed to lick the bowl and spoon. I am wondering if this might be a good way to teach him to use a spoon heh. He didn't really use it to get more chocolate out of the bowl though, so I don't know.




Anyway, this cake I'm working on must be delivered this afternoon, so back to work I go while the two little ones sleep.

Finding My Son

There seems to be an element of a persons soul that gets lost when a person cannot speak. I hope this does not offend people....I mean no offense. If you read on, I might be able to explain a little bit better what I am trying to say.

Just to be very clear; I am not saying that people who cannot speak have no soul. I am not saying that people who cannot speak are not real people. When people talk, I think that elements of their character, their personality and their essence comes through. It's in the small nuances....the way they say a word, or a certain look they have when they are speaking. Those mini facial expressions that we don't specifically notice and those tiny vocal inflections in their speech all communicate things to the person who is listening.

I feel like I am missing this with Erik. I feel like I am missing this part of him. I feel as though we have been 'cheated' out of it. For all intents and purposes, Erik is still much like a baby in his day-to-day life. He does not speak to me, and I don't know if he can understand what I'm saying most times. There are things that he definately understands. The things that are connected with routine activities and such. But I couldn't tell him a story and expect him to understand what I'm saying. I can't even expect him to understand when I need to tell him to wait, or that we are going somewhere different today....stuff like that. He may look at me bewildered, or he may just cry at such things. Sometimes, he just starts crying for no apparent reason. I can't ask him why. He doesn't understand what I'm asking him. And he can't tell me what the problem is anyway. Often, I am left trying to guess what has happened to trigger his irritation. Sometimes I can tell what it is. Sometimes I can't. This is frustrating for me. I wish he could just tell me. But he can't. It must be even more frustrating for him.

So I - we - are missing out on sharing the essense that is Erik because of these communication deficits. One day as all this stuff was going around in my head, I thought that it is stupid of me to think he has no personality. In fact, that isn't what I ever meant anyway...but that was how I was feeling that particular day. So I sat down and tried to think of aspects of my sons personality and character that I could see. This is what I found......

Erik is generally a quiet and gentle boy.
Erik likes sweet things....especially chocolate.
He likes fruit, rice, chips and spaghetti. He does not like vegetables or meat.
Erik likes dairy foods - but he won't drink milk anymore (we accidently stuffed that up).
He loves and prefers company to being alone. He adores his big sisters.
He likes to play chasey games with them, and peek-a-boo with me.
He does not like his baby sister right now, but is getting used to her.
Erik likes to go out, just about anywhere. And he likes coming home too.
His favourite place to go is our local shopping centre. But he also likes playgrounds and my parent's house.
Erik would never purposely hurt anyone, even when he was extremely annoyed.
Erik shows affection by leaning on people, or putting his feet on them.
Sometimes Erik will 'kiss' people he really loves and is comfortable with ...his version of a kiss is a small lick (lol...it's cute, ok!)
Erik likes to copy his big sisters.
Chasey games, tickles, silly behaviour and certain animated characters make him laugh.
He also laughs when he is very happy or excited.
Erik enjoys nursery rhymes that are familiar to him.
He actually likes music in general, and looks very pleased when he hears a familiar song.

You know what...I could go on and on now. Many of these things are not much different to a normal toddler. On the other hand, there is much that a normal toddler does, that Erik can't or won't do. More about that in another post I think.

Anyway, looking more closely at these things helped me a bit. But I still look forward to the day - though I'm almost too scared to hope too much - when my son looks into my eyes and just says "mum".


xx

My New Wilton Tip

Chocolate cupcakes with whipped white chocolate ganache.


So.....I got me a new Wilton 1M tip and used it for the first time tonight. Cakey people will know what I'm talking about :D. I love it! Still have to work on my technique though...but I think that will come with practice.

Got Milk?

So what do you do when you have 2L of milk that's about to turn?





You make rice pudding of course! Creamy vanilla rice pudding topped with cinnamon and chopped almonds. Also, it looks like the next couple of days will involve some cakery, so stay tuned.

PS: I apologise for the bad photography both now and throughout the future of this blog. Most of this stuff is done and photographed at night after the kids are all in bed, so the conditions tend to be really bad for photos.

Eggshells

Hubby just sent me this link http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE62B41820100312 It's another article about the whole 'vaccines cause autism' thing. Ok, I am walking on eggshells here....I am not going to comment extenstively at this stage, because this is a very sensitive topic to many people, and I want to be sure of my own standpoint before I go ahead and enter the debate fully. Some believe there is a great conspiracy about it all and the government is hiding something. Others believe that parents of autistic children are just looking for someone to blame for what is going on. And I'm sure there are alot more other groups/individuals who believe various things about it all.

What I will say is this: Erik's symptoms have been present since he was born. Looking back, the things that I used to attribute to his personality/ him being a boy/ each child develops differently/ etc, were actually signs of the problems at hand. I won't go into details here as I don't have the time right now. I do remember having fleeting - very fleeting - thoughts wondering why he was or wasn't doing a particular thing. But as I said, I would attribute it all to the notion that each child develops at their own pace, and that he had a very gentle nature. Again, both things are true, but that was not at play here. I should have known by the very fact that I had doubts. I struggle to trust my own intuition....it is a major flaw I have. Confidence issues. Anyway, my PERSONAL belief right now is that vaccinations are not the cause of Erik's problems. This doesn't mean I am stubbournly refusing to look at both sides. This is just my standpoint at this stage.

Overdue to feed the baby. Gotta go.

xx

Assessment stress

Well, I've finally finished the questionnaires I had to do with regards to Erik's assessment. Hubby has checked over them also. All I need to do is send them in. It was hard to answer the questions. Hard because sometimes the questions don't seem to make sense, or don't really apply to him. But mostly it's hard because sometimes the answers are not what I like.

I am really torn about the whole deal. The thing is, if Erik is diagnosed with Autism or something specific on that spectrum (which is likely at this stage, but not guaranteed), there is some good funding available to assist with paying for the help he needs. If I recall correctly, I think it's something like $12,000 up to the age of 7 years. And you can claim a maximum of $6000 of that in any one year. But, it means my son's disorder is a lifetime thing. If he is diagnosed only with developmental or speech delays, the chances are he will catch right up to others his age at some point and you won't be able to tell the difference. But there is no funding.

Whatever the results are, the treatment is going to be the same. He needs Speech Pathology, Occupational Therapy, and possibly some Psychology too. But Speech is the biggest thing....mainly because his delays are the greatest in this area. I know that Speech is not medicare rebated....we have to pay that out of our own pockets. I don't know about the rest. There is a scheme that helps a little, where you get up to 5 sessions in 12 months (for any of these things) rebated a little by medicare. But that's it. Erik is seeing the Speechie on average, once every fortnight. So you can see how quickly that assistance runs out.

So you see the roller coaster here? Need the funding, but don't want the "lifetime" diagnosis.

Last night I had a dream that we were at the assessment, and the final result was that he wasn't autistic. In the dream I was disappointed, because the problems were still there anyway, and we still had to pay for the treatment.

I think in the end, it really doesn't matter. What will be, will be. This is my son and I love him. I love him so much. It's hard to picture what his future might be like, because I don't know how his abilities will show out. But it doesn't matter....he will be ok. And we will all be ok.

Assessment is on 24th March, with a review to follow on the 31st. Will let you know how it works out.


xx

You Want a Piece of Me?

It sits there...quietly accusing me. Has been for weeks now. The ironing. The dishes in the kitchen are on strike....if I don't wash them, they won't do their job. Someone needs a drink. Someone else needs a nappy change. And the baby is crying again. She wants to be entertained. The boy doesn't like it when she cries. It upsets him, so he is screaming also. In a few hours, kids will be asking for food, so I have to make sure dinner is sorted. I don't know what to cook and I'm too tired to be bothered with it.

I vaccuumed, but looking at the floor now, you cannot tell. I wonder what the point was in the first place. There is a set of questionnaires that I need to finish and post off for the boy's assessment in little over a week. I'm supposed to be getting another set of photos ready for him to use as well (for communication purposes). One of the girls has located a spider among the toys, so I need to deal with that.

....All I want to do is go to bed, but if I do...who will carry this load? Speaking of load, the laundry loads are sorted but tapping their feet impatiently as they wait...and wait...and wait...and wait...for me.

I feel like everyone and everything wants a piece of me. A million things that demand my time and attention and energy. I have to spread myself thin to try and get to everything. Sometimes, I get so tired. And sometimes, it's more a case of brain-tired than body-tired. But brain-tired somehow makes you more body-tired anyway. Combined with poor sleep (blame baby mainly) and being sick...makes it all worse.

I've been sick this week. So has hubby. At this stage, I don't think any of the kids have caught it. A headcold sinusy thing it was. Although the baby was a bit sniffly and the boy was a bit snotty too. But I'm not sure if they have got it. They both seem ok for now anyway, which is good. But what an aweful week. I hate it when hubby is sick. He hates it too. More probably. His headcold developed even further into Bronchitis...it usually does. So he is sicker and and has spent alot of time resting in bed. But he also spent an entire night at work in the middle of it all. I got to sleep in a little bit once or twice. But thats it. And only because I made the poor guy get up to sort out kids in the morning. I felt bad because he is still sick. But I made him do it anyway. Meanie.

So I haven't done any baking this week. It's been challenging enough just trying to manage the basics! I miss it. But I'll once things get back to normal around here I will be back into it....if anything here can be considered normal LOL.

Now, I really should finish those dishes....or maybe sort through this pile of paperwork on my desk....


.....coffee sounds good right about now.

Ooo! Hello deh!

Ok, I'm shy now. I've just created my new blog...now I have to write in it. I had so much to say, and suddenly I've lost all my words!

Hehe... hubby would laugh at that.

Perhaps I should start with a bit of an introduction...although that stuff should technically be in the 'about me' part. Doesn't matter, I'll put some here too.

So.....10 minutes here, 10 minutes there..... the title reflects how I feel about my life at the moment. Ten minutes is probably a bit of an exaggeration, but my days - if I must schedule them - are often broken down into increments of 30 minutes or so. There are a couple of exceptions through the day, but this is usually the case. As you can imagine, I find it hard to get anything done properly with a schedule like that. But like all mums, I somehow manage.

Yep, I am mother to four adorable kids, and wife to a truly amazing man. At this point in time, their ages are 7, 6, 2.5 and 5 months. Three girls and one boy. One of my kids has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). He is yet to have a formal assessment for an official diagnosis though. My 2.5 year old son is the one with ASD. My only son.

So, I've started this blog because....well....I don't know really LOL. I suppose now that I really think about it, it's because I was inspired by other blogs I've seen...a couple in particular that I love following. When I think of the deeper reasons, I think this might be a good way for me to make sense of the events happening in my life right now. There's alot going on my head, and getting it down in a written form is a good way to get my brain around stuff. But why a blog and not a journal? Well....I also think it might be a nice way to share a little of my life with friends, family, strangers (oo that's a bit scary!), because I rarely get to actually spend time with anybody much. My plate is quite full at the moment, and finding the time/energy to invest in 'seeing' people is really, really hard. Some people would be rather critical of that last line. But they don't walk in my shoes. So they don't know. So that's ok.

Also, I have realised in recent months, that I actually really love baking and decorating cakes. I think I have loved this sort of stuff since I was a teen, but I've only just now realised how much I enjoy it.

So this blog will probably contain lots of posts about my family, and lots of posts about cakey stuff, with a smattering of other bits and pieces just to add spice to it all.

My real name is Vivianne...but my screen name has been Slinki just about forever, so that's what I'll sign off as for now. Thank you for reading my first post.

I guess I found some words after all :)


xx