Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Toilet Training Again
It is school holidays here - yes, the boy has started school! Just another post I need to catch up on.... School holidays after first term, and I have decided to try toilet training again. I feel driven to it more as a duty to my son, to the school, to society, and as a mother. He is getting older and bigger, and this is becoming more urgent. And more difficult. But Baby Miss is now toilet trained herself, and settled into it enough that I don't need to chase her around anymore over accidents. So really, there should be nothing more holding me back from trying, other than the usual family commitments. Which are still going to make things difficult I imagine. I've decided to keep a bit of a journal this time, for how it goes. This is the fourth time I attempt to toilet train, and I am already approaching it with discouragement and dread. The first time and second time, I tried with all the recommended techniques, to no avail. Even our wonderful EI worker couldn't make sense of this boy. The last time I tried something different, but the OT didn't recommend it, so I stopped and gave up, again. It's a shame, because we had made some progress and I thought we might actually get somewhere here. But I trusted her expertise and advice, so I let it go. Wish I hadn't now. I am trying this method again this time, so we shall see.
The school is helping - it is one of our major SSG (Student Support Group) goals. But I still feel compelled to try full swing again at home during holidays. So, with a deep breath and internally steeling myself against the fear and dread, here goes.....
This morning, after changing his pj's and cleaning him up, I have left him bottomless so I can catch him when he wee's. I have filled his drink bottle and keep shoving it in his face. Drink boy! He is drinking ok, but there has been nothing else happening. All morning I hovered around him like a fly with an empty ice-cream bucket. The potty has long been put away, and it is too small for him now anyway. A deep ice-cream bucket is better for catching his wee.
I have put him on the toilet every hour, to sit for as long as he can handle. I still have to physically hold him there - not very strongly, thank God - but still. As soon as I back away, he comes off. So I stand in front of him with my arms around him, rubbing his back, and his head nestled against my neck as he quietly whines his protest. He holds himself off the seat a little bit. He really doesn't like it. The first time, I keep him there for only 10 seconds. Each time thereafter I keep him there for 10 seconds longer, until finally, I can keep him there for a minute.
The boy has superhuman control! Not a wee, poo, or fart all day! I follow him around with the ice-cream bucket, for no reason at all.
We have watched Tom's Toilet Triumph 3 times already. He likes to watch it, but wants nothing more to do with the content LOL.
Finally, at about 5pm, he starts to whine and scream periodically. I know he is busting to go now. He is so stubbourn though, he just won't let go without his nappy. It's getting very close and he won't be able to hold on too much longer, so I follow him closely with the bucket, talking to him all the time.
"Wee, Erik? Wee?"
Whine, whine, scream. Pushes the bucket away.
Standing on a chair in his sisters' bedroom, he is fiddling with the DS, and whining. I look away for a second at something else in the room. Then suddenly - finally at 5:30pm! - he lets go. Darnit, I missed the start! I quickly shove the bucket under the stream, much to his disgust.
"Weeeeeeee! Good boy! Weeeeeeee!"
He is crying his protest and trying to push the bucket away. But he can't go anywhere because he is standing on the chair - win! I manage to catch most of it in the bucket. The stream goes on and on and on and on. I think he has pee'd close to a litre! It's a 2L bucket, and more than 1/3 full, even after I missed the first little bit. This kid is amazing! How he managed to hold on this much I will never know!
As the stream continues and I joyfully say "Wee!", he begins to settle his protests. He allows me to keep holding the bucket there till he is done. The poor kid must feel so much better now. As soon as the stream stops, fast as lightening, he's off that chair and running to the living room. He wants nothing to do with it!
I follow him out, with the swishing bucket in hand, and gently bring him over. As gently as I can while he struggles against me, that is. I force him to look on as I slowly tip the wee into the toilet.
"Wee! Good boy Erik, look, wee!"
He's not impressed. I warn him about the toilet flush, but let him leave as I flush it away. He has had enough distress, and I don't want to add to it.
Nothing else for the rest of the day. In the evening, I showered him, put his night time nappy on, and put him to bed. He was quite relieved to be wearing it. And I am relieved that it's over for today. Hopefully, by catching that first wee, the hardest part is over! Phew!